I’ve always believed that who I am on the inside should match what I show on the outside. But let’s be honest—it’s not always easy. The struggle to be authentic is real.

And yet, in Scripture, there’s a man who was even better on the inside than what people saw on the outside: Job.

Job 1:1 describes him as blameless and upright, a man who feared God and turned from evil. Not only that, but he had a thriving family and wealth beyond measure. On the outside, he was successful. But on the inside? He was even greater.

Then, everything fell apart. He lost it all—his wealth, his children, his health. But in his lowest moment, Job’s response was stunning:

“In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.” (Job 1:22)

His inside remained unshaken, even when his outside crumbled. And that’s the challenge for us: to become inside-out people—people whose faith and character don’t depend on circumstances but are shaped by God from within.

The Four Stages of Growth
We all go through stages of maturity—spiritually, relationally, and in our families. Jesus illustrates this in the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15). These stages show up in marriage, parenting, and our walk with God.

1. GIVE ME

The Prodigal Son starts here:

“Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.” (Luke 15:12)

This is where we all begin. As kids, it’s natural. As new believers, we come to God saying, “Give me peace, give me direction, give me a better life.” Even in relationships, we start with give me love, give me support, give me what I need.

But if we stay in this stage, relationships suffer. Families break. Faith grows shallow. Because life isn’t meant to revolve around what we can get.

2. USE ME

At first, this sounds spiritual—“God, use me!” But deep down, we often mean, “Use me so I can feel important.”

In marriage, this can show up as, “If I serve, will they notice me?”
In parenting, “If I sacrifice, will my kids appreciate me?”
In faith, “If I do good, will God bless me?”

But significance isn’t found in being noticed—it’s found in becoming who God created us to be. And that means moving beyond seeking validation to something deeper.

3. SEARCH ME

When the Prodigal hit rock bottom, he had a moment of clarity:

“He came to himself…” (Luke 15:17)

This is where growth happens—when we stop blaming and start looking inward.

It’s easy to say, “My spouse is the problem,” or “My kids are difficult,” or “My circumstances are unfair.” But real change starts when we pray, “Search me, God. Show me what needs to change in me.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

What if the struggles in your family aren’t just about them—but about what God wants to refine in you?

4. MAKE ME

The Prodigal finally returns home with a new heart:

“Father, I have sinned… I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” (Luke 15:18-19)

We start at GIVE ME, move through USE ME, wrestle with SEARCH ME, and finally arrive at MAKE ME.

Make me a better spouse.
Make me a patient parent.
Make me the person You’ve called me to be.

This is where God does His best work.

The End of Job’s Story—And Ours
In the beginning, Job had everything. He lost it all. But in the end?

“The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.” (Job 42:12)

He had double what he lost. More importantly, his faith was unshaken. His inside had been tested—and it held.

What if the struggles in your family aren’t meant to break you—but to build something stronger?

What if God is inviting you to move from GIVE ME to MAKE ME?

The best days of your marriage, your parenting, and your faith aren’t behind you. They’re ahead.

The question is: Will you let God shape you from the inside out?